specialdog | Catch-All for Minato

specialdog

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

specialdog

[ she's quieter now, losing a lot of that vehemence. Sleeping whenever you want, doing whatever you want... Huh... ]

... Did you ever think that maybe you would get sick less if you had a healthier diet?

From:

compendiem

[ Yeah... That's all he did for the entirety of winter vacation, really. Sleeping whenever he wanted and doing whatever he wanted turned out to overlap quite nicely: he slept all of December away, and still woke up exhausted every morning. ]

I guess I didn't mind being sick, since it sorta felt like the norm... [ Tired and run down, that's just how he feels all the time. It's a little bit better now, eating other people's cooking in this place and not having to run everywhere all the time. ]

I'd been trying harder to take care of myself, though. I make sure to eat lunch every day. [ bread from the cafeteria, but Akane doesn't need to know that ] And a variety of foods for dinner, too. [ which ranges from ramen to burgers and other fast foods, but Akane doesn't need to know that either ]

From:

specialdog

But aren't you about to stop? [ trying harder to take care of yourself until you decide it's boring... ]

Just for some dumb bet?

From:

compendiem

...Yeah.

[ Yeah, that's exactly what he did, trying his best until he realized it didn't matter, and then slipping again. Coffee and bread is good enough to keep him going, and as long as he keeps going, that's fine.

He does look a bit sheepish, though, almost guilty. ]

It's a dumb bet, huh... I guess I just find it easier if it feels like I'm doing something for somebody else's sake, instead of my own.

[ Bet with Naminé is fun because it involves one other person. Taking care of himself isn't, because it's just him. Something like that. ]

From:

specialdog

[ judgmental silence here. but... it's debatable who she's being judgmental of. i mean, definitely minato. definitely him. but who else? ]

What does the other person get from it? Watching you get sick? Why do you want to give them that?

From:

compendiem

[ The silence is somewhat uncomfortable when he's on the receiving end of it. ]

...It... would be entirely my fault. I accept the consequences of my actions.

[ He says the words like he's reading them out loud, instead of really saying it. The other person wins the bet. That's all they should care about. ]

From:

specialdog

[ she is... frustrated and unimpressed. akane likes people that will listen to her, but what's the point if they don't listen to only her? and what's with running away from taking responsibility for yourself like that? ]

That's so stupid.

Were you only trying to change because someone told you to?

From:

compendiem

[ Yeah, it's stupid. He's stupid. He's tired. ]

Not because somebody told me to...

[ But he can't say it wasn't for the sake of somebody else, either. If he were smarter or kinder or more reliable, maybe people would pay him mind and it'll be easier to get along with them. Something like that. ]

Do you think it's wrong to change? When somebody else wants you to, and you don't feel strongly about it either way?

From:

specialdog

... I don't care what other people want from me. I can't change.

[ "... For someone else?" Can't change for someone else? ... No. She just can't change. ]

From:

compendiem

[ "I can't change"? ]

Anybody can change, I think... But not everybody has to. If you're happy with how you are, I'm glad.

From:

specialdog

[ Happy...? Of course. Yes, of course she's happy with how she is. Because she became like this so carefully. So purposefully. ]

If you want to be different from how you are, you just change things. But I've already changed. I'm already who I want to be.

[ So she can't change again. Obviously. She makes the it sound so simplistic, but... Very clearly has conflicting thoughts and feelings on it.]

From:

compendiem

[ The process is much harder than that, Minato's found, but he also really doesn't know what sort of person he wants to end up being; maybe it's just hard for him because he's aimless, that he tries to move forward without any real goal in mind. ]

You've worked hard, huh... I like the person you are now. I wish I could've known who you were before, too.

From:

specialdog

[ Worked hard... No, that's not the important part here. He likes the person she is now...? Of course he does. Isn't that natural? ]

What makes you say that? Why would you want to know me as different from this if you like this?

From:

compendiem

Hm... Because who you were before helped make you who you are now. Isn't it something like that?

[ Because everybody grows and matures, and he can't hope to understand anybody fully if he didn't know where they started from. ]

From:

specialdog

[ ... after a beat, Akane plasters a smile on her face. This conversation is Upsetting so she's just going to stop engaging with it on a sincere level. ]

I guess. I don't really get it.

But you shouldn't make yourself sick.

From:

compendiem

[ He could convince himself that the smile is real, but coupled with the bluntness of her words, he gets the hint. ]

Yeah, I'll look after myself. Sorry for making you worry.

From:

specialdog

Who would worry about someone when they've only got themselves to blame?

From:

compendiem

[ ...That's true, isn't it? ]

Then, a correction: Thank you for talking sense into me.

From:

specialdog

But you didn't change your mind.

From:

compendiem

[ whispers into my hands, I'm losing my shit at that icon ]

.......Yeah, I did. I'm going to tell Naminé the bet is off. 'cause it'd be no good if I get sick and die.

From:

specialdog

[ Enjoy your Manipulation Smile™. Meanwhile Akane's heart could have grown three sizes that day. It did not. But it could have! ]

I feel bad ruining your fun with a friend...

From:

compendiem

[ He shakes his head ]

No, it's okay. We can find something else to bet on, after all. Or do other things together, that she can do too.

[ Since waiting for Minato to die drinking coffee must be pretty boring for her and not at all fun. ]

From:

specialdog

That's a relief...! You really have to take care of yourself, you know?

[ phew!!! ]

From:

compendiem

Yep. I'll do my best.

[ And then two days later he's found living in the casino with nothing but several dozen cups of coffee, a bowl of week old gravy, and Shirasu's inedible cooking. ]